I’m in a group of intelligent people, enjoying the conversation, the banter, the witty repartee, when suddenly it happens. Someone in the group mentions one of THOSE BOOKS. You know, one of THE ONES I SHOULD HAVE READ. I grow quiet. It takes only a few seconds to discover that EVERYONE ELSE in the group has read THIS BOOK. My chest tightens, my stomach begins to ache, I feel my face begin to flush.
I’m at work. Colleagues gather in the hall, talking, laughing. Suddenly the conversation is about one of THOSE BOOKS. I cringe inwardly.
A colleague stops by my office. We begin to chat, to talk about something a student said, a class, a current project. “You’ve read THAT BOOK, right?” I’m asked. “No,” I’m forced to admit. I feel the shame.
Now I’m not talking about the latest best seller or some obscure book that one reads because it’s in her concentration area but no one else would be expected to be familiar with. I’m not talking about eighteenth century philosophy texts or the latest book on deconstruction theory. I’m talking about one of THOSE BOOKS—a literary classic that I should have read, wished I’d read, meant to have read, don’t know why I haven’t read, am embarrassed I haven’t read, even though I’ve been reading all my life.
I have no idea how these particular novels have slipped through the cracks. For really long ones, I think it’s because it’s hard to find a big enough chunk of time to devote exclusively to it. But whatever the reason, I’ve been whittling away slowly on my list. Last summer, I read Les Miserables (yes, the unabridged version). The summer before, I read Nobokov’s Lolita. This summer, I read Tom Jones and Tristram Shandy. Surely they count, even if they were on my comps list.
Here’s a list of some of the books I feel I should have read but haven’t yet:
1. Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina
2. George Eliot’s Middlemarch
3. William Faulkner’s Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying
4. Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange
5. Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged
6. James Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
7. Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses
8. Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov
9. Theodore Dreiser’s Sister Carrie
10. Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum
11. Boris Pasternak’s Doctor Zhivago
12. Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart
13. Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook
14. Willa Cather’s My Antonia
15. Joseph Heller’s Catch 22
Prior to this, my list has existed pretty much only in my head, so I’m sure that after pushing that magical “Post” button I’ll think of some I wish I’d included.
Okay. Time to ‘fess up. What are you embarrassed that you haven’t read?
7 comments:
Haha--I know exactly how you feel! I've never read Macbeth and I dread when conversations turn to Shakespeare. I also haven't read Faulkner--except forthe beginnings of two books I never made it through. Sigh. I feel the shame, sort of. But mostly I just think of something else to read.
May I suggest to you Pierre Bayard's How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read?
I think the truth is that people who seem to literally have read everything are faking it. As Harold Bloom once said, there are certain 19th century books you have to read as an adolescent because that's the only time in your life when you have enough time and patience.
And I'll confess: I'm an inveterate browser. There are A LOT of books I haven't actually read, not most of their pages anyway. I skipped most of the more technical whaling chapters in Moby Dick, for instance. (If it makes you feel better, I know of one of your English department colleagues who teaches the book without ever having read it and gets away with it because he took a course on Melville in grad school...)
I totally unembarrassed to say that I haven't more than browsed most of the 19th century Russians, other than Chekhov, whom I love. Dostoievsky and Tolstoy strike me as enormous wastes of time.
What am I embarrassed I haven't read? I never took a Shakespeare course, so I have read none of his historical plays -- those Henries and Richards. I've never read any Proust. I own Foucault's Pendulum, but I've never read it, either. I've read very little Wallace Stegner. No Thackeray. Almost no Trollope. None of the big-name Japanese: Endo, Oe, Murakami. Only few of the last few Nobel lit prize winners... I haven't read Le Clézio, Jelinek, Kertész, Xingjian, Saramago, Fo, or Szymborska.
The list goes on. I think the trick is to recognize that there's WAY too much to read out there that's very good. It's ok not to have read all of the books yet. After all, what else were you going to do over the next forty years?
I too have felt the shame in book savvy crowds, and I can't imagine the degree of shame felt in your professional crowds. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I'm confident to know that I know what I like, and some of those "great classics" I did indeed love, while some left me with that afore-mentioned "swimming through mud" feeling. I now have the confidence to say that there are a lot of those books I haven't read, some I have and liked, but some I hated. I absolutely hated "Atlas Shrugged", while a college friend of mine thought it the best thing since the hair dryer. I have yet to make it through ANY Faulkner. "As I Lay Dying" made me want to die myself. And I think Jonathan is right on the money when he said he thinks people who seem to have ready everything (and I'll add - to LIKE all the ones they're "supposed" to like) are faking it.
Man. I feel guilty just reading the list of what you haven't read, Jonathan. I wasn't even thinking of Japanese authors. Of course, what you say is true. There is too much to have read it all. I think the problem is my perfectionist personality. (My definition of perfectionist is not a person who's perfect, but one who feels guilty for not being so.)
And Ashley, I agree with you, too. Some of the "must-reads" are called classic for good reason. Some don't work because they make us read them when we're 14 years old and just don't have enough life experience yet. Some just make me want to pull out my hair. I tried to get through Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow, and finally just flat gave up. I kept feeling like I'd skipped pages and missed vital information somewhere.
you're a better woman than i am--i still fake it!!! let's see, for me The Odyssey (did I spell that right!). Thanks for following my blog & liking the pic! I've been outta internet territory & about to get back to work! more soon xxo (ps I read Anna Karenina over the period of several months--about this time of the year!)
Wow! You've started quite a conversation here! Here's how I stack up on your list of "want to reads."
1. Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (read it -- yes you should!)
2. George Eliot’s Middlemarch (haven't read it)
3. William Faulkner’s Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying (haven't read either, but have read Absalom, Absalom and The Rievers. Does that count?)
4. Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange (nope)
5. Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged (not this one either)
6. James Joyce’s Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (nope)
7. Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses (sigh. no.)
8. Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov (neither one!)
9. Theodore Dreiser’s Sister Carrie (do you see the pattern?)
10. Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum (uhm . . . no)
11. Boris Pasternak’s Doctor Zhivago (no, but really, really want to!)
12. Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart (nope)
13. Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook (no ma'am)
14. Willa Cather’s My Antonia (I bought it. does that count?)
15. Joseph Heller’s Catch 22 (no)
Reading for your comps definitely counts! I'm glad you got to read Tom Jones. It's on my list to re-read. Reading the unabridged version of Les Mis is also a goal -- I bought it so I could have as long as I need with it. Lolita and Tristam Shandy are also on my "I really need to read it" list.
So . . . where to go from here? I am going to write out a reading plan for this year. I haven't had one for several years because I primarily spent my breaks from grad school reading whatever fiction I could get my hands on. This year I want a plan and goals and to be able to cross some titles off my list. I'm starting with Life of Pi, and am going to alternate between classics and contemporary. I'll publish my list soon! This is going to be a great year!
Lisa, I don't think we'd do very good as a tag team, after all! But it makes me wonder if we've pretty much spent our time reading all the same books!
I like your idea of alternating classics with current fiction. It would lessen the guilt factor of feeling that you're neglecting either the classics or failing to keep current.
You should read Tristram Shandy. It is so far ahead of its time. It reads like a postmodern novel. And Life of Pi is one I want to read, too.
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