Overheard at Walmart

It's been quite a while since I've overheard anything at Walmart that was worth repeating. Of course, that could be because I put off going there until it's an absolute necessity, and then while there I rush from aisle to aisle, snatching what I need off the shelves in a desperate rush to get out.

However, a little girl made my recent trip there worthwhile. She and her mother rounded the end of the aisle, making their way toward me. The little girl was chattering; the mother was nodding and making "um-hmm" kinds of sounds as she scanned the shelves, not really paying her daughter any attention.

LITTLE GIRL: Yada yada yada . . . And my ear was really hurting. Really hurting. It was an emotional pain.

MOM: (beginning to laugh as the little girl's words finally get her attention) Oh, really? And what is emotional pain?

LITTLE GIRL: It's a special kind of pain. And it hurts really bad. I don't like it when my ear has emotional pain.

Boy, me neither.

Take a Number

The other day, I went to the Revenue Department to license my vehicle. I walked in, took a number, and sat down. I looked at my number -- 35 -- then looked up at the display -- 22. Well, I was in for a wait.

Quite a few people came in after me, getting their numbers, looking at the board, grimacing, and then sitting down in resignation. The numbers were called slowly. 24 . . . 27 . . . 29 . . .32 . . .33 . . .

I saw another man come in, get his number, and then sit down.

34! the woman called. 34! No one moved. 35! she said, and I got up and started toward the counter. But so did the man who'd just walked in, and he beat me there. I hesitated as he laid his number on the counter. The woman said, "Sir, we are on number 35 and you have number 52."

"What do I do?" he asked.

"You sit back down and wait until we call your number," she replied, very kindly. He went back to his seat, she gave me a confused smile, and began to process my license transfer.

About two minutes later, the clerk next to us finished with her customer and called out the next number. 36! she announced.

Yep. You guessed it. The same man got up and came to the counter and handed her his number. "Sir," the woman said hesitantly, "we are on number 36 and you have number 52."

"What do I do?" he asked.

"You go sit back down and wait until we call number 52," she explained. Back to his seat he went, and both clerks and I exchanged confused, even embarrassed, smiles.

I left before the next number was called, but I can't help but wondering if that poor man came to the counter the next sixteen times they called out a number.

Overheard

Conversation overheard while we were out having lunch last Sunday:

Little Girl: " . . . and my stomach was hurting really bad, and it felt like I was gonna throw up, and I did throw up. Right on Mama's dress . . . "

Older Lady: What did Mama say?

Little Girl: "She didn't like it very much . . ."

I can sympathize. My youngest child threw up right on top of my head in the checkout line at Sam's, once. I didn't like it very much either.

Overheard

I was having my nails done the other day and overheard another great conversation.

Woman #1: Wow. You really got the works, didn't you?

Woman #2: Yeah, well, we're leaving tomorrow on a cruise. We're going to get married on an island.

Woman #1: Oh! A destination wedding!! Is the whole family going?

Woman #2: No. We've both been married before, so we're going to get married there, just the two of us, and have a big reception for the families when we get back.

Woman #1: Yeah. That's what I'd rather do. But every time I get married, the guy's never been married before, and I have to keep doing the whole big wedding thing over and over again. (Sigh.)

No. I did not make this up.

Overheard

This past week I've been battling a sinus infection. I tried, as usual, to tough it out at first, but by Wednesday I knew I had to seek medical attention. While sitting in the room waiting on the doctor, I could hear one woman talking to another in the hallway outside my room. I have no idea who they were, but here's what the woman said:

"I know we met in a club, and I know that he doesn't go to church, but if I'd known that he didn't believe in God, I'd have never married him. After finding that out last night, I don't think this marriage is going to work."

This would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. I mean, did they talk AT ALL before they ran to the JP?