Another Ad

Wrong Answer

The Right Equipment

A woman and her husband were vacationing at a lake. The husband liked to fish, and the boat was full of his equipment, but one day while he was napping, the woman decided to go out on the boat herself. She found a nice place on the lake and began to read her book.


A warden pulled up and told her she was in a restricted zone (no fishing) and he would have to arrest her. The woman explained that she was not fishing; she was reading. The warden responded that she had all the proper equipment for fishing and he would have to take her in to the station.


"If you do, I'll charge you with sexual assault" she snapped.

Dumb-struck, the warden protested that he hadn't even touched her.

"Yes, but you have all the proper equipment," she replied.

The moral of the story? Don't argue with a woman who reads; it's likely she can also think.

Sunday Funnies

Warning

If you do not enjoy laughing uncontrollably, do not read David Sedaris. Enough said.

Don't Tempt Me

Thanks, Patti, for sharing!

Self Portrait

And I'm not joking.

No-Win Situation

Just For Fun

Smart Women VIII

Smart Women VII

Smart Women VI

Smart Women V

Jane Austen's Fight Club

What Soldiers Do When They're Not Being Shot At

Smart Women III

Say What?

Shelf Awareness posted these customer comments twittered by book store employees. Enjoy!

Apparently, quite a few customers just didn't pay attention in school:

"Do you have (pause, consult reading list) Hamlet? It's by (pause, consult list again) Shakespeare?"

Overheard: "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"

"Do you have Shakespeare in English?"

"I'm looking for a book but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno."

"Who wrote Jane Austen?"

Watermarkbooks had a summer-long Jane Austen bookclub. I had someone ask when she would be there.

"Where do yall keep the true fiction?"

"I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history."

Then there's those memorably weird (sometimes unsettling) queries:

"Do you have books on monkeys, monkeys doing things like people?" (turns out they wanted monkeys having sex)

“This is the only bookstore I've ever been in that didn't have a popcorn machine."

"I'm here for a Bible, not the KJV or anything. I'm looking for the original. You know the one that God wrote."

"My new girlfriend is pretty churchy. Would a Gutenberg Bible be a good gift?"

"Do you have any books with red covers? I'm redecorating my living room in red."

Cust asks about return policy so I ask her why.... "Well if I don't lose weight I should be able to return the book right?"

"I'm looking for white supremacy books. I tried to order them and they were stopped at the border. Can you imagine?!"

"What do you mean? Why can't I leave my 3-5 yo (unattended) in your shop while I go next door?!?"

Customer asks where 'nonfiction' is. I say it's broken up into history/bio etc. She calls us a bad bookstore. Really?

And that saying about how "the customer is always right"? Not so much.

My favorite mistaken title: The Glass Menage a Trois.

Customer asked for THE ONION IN THE CLOSET; wanted INDIAN IN THE CUPBOARD.

Woman asked for CRUCIBLE, I gave it to her, she said "not the screenplay. The REAL one."

2nd week as bkseller, lady looking for the KITE WALKER. Was pissed when I suggested that KITE RUNNER might be a quicker read.

Oooo Ooo - Tillers of the Earth. Was completely insulted when I suggested she might be looking for Pillars of the Earth.

"Do you have Atlas Rugged?". "Uh. No, don't you mean Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand?". "No. I need Atlas Rugged."

Sometimes, these experiences lead to rewarding moments of win:

"I'm looking for a book. It had a chicken on the cover & my sister really liked it." Total WIN. With no more info, we found it.

"Do you have those mystery novels by Angela Lansbury?" I said yes and showed him the books by "Jessica Fletcher." He was happy.

And perhaps my favorite:

Someone once told me that the US government classified ANGELS & DEMONS as fiction to help the Vatican with the cover-up.

Smart Women II

Smart Women I

Been There, Done That

I don't teach history, but English teachers have days like this, too. Click on this LINK and enjoy. Thanks, Eddy, for sharing.