This is front page news in Searcy, AR:
"Princess Camp Teaches Etiquette"
Searcy's younger generation is learning to compose themselves like royalty, thanks to Planned to Perfection's Princess Camp. [ . . . ] Two different classes were offered, one for princess ages 4-6, held in the morning, and one for ages 7-9, held in the afternoon.
Girls were able to construct their own tutus and wands and were crowned during the climactic tea party. The older group composed their own princess song that they sang to their family. [ . . .]
Some of the etiquette campers learned included: yes sir, no sir; don't talk with mouth full; no slurping; no elbows on the table; and how to sneeze like a princess.
Princess Camp gave all finishing girls a diploma with the declaration: "This princess is not only beautiful on the outside but on the inside too. This royal princess is polite, knows her manners, has good self esteem, and knows how to be a good friend."
I don't even know where to begin . . .