Digital Dilemma

It's obvious that I haven't posted in a while. Why, you wonder? Well, several reasons, actually. The semester has begun, I have four preps including one new class, and I'm a little stressed. But those are not the main reasons. Actually, I'm having a digital dilemma.

Facebook. Twitter. Blogs. Text Messages. The Internet . . . . All of them were vying for my attention, and I noticed that I wasn't always really in control of how much time I spent online. I'd get on to check Facebook, and before I knew it half an hour was gone. One blog would lead to another, one website to another, and before I knew it another half hour was gone. It was as if I were giving away little bits of my life without consciously making the decision that those activities were worth the sacrifice of time. Also, something's gotta be wrong when you start evaluating every life experience in terms of whether it'll make a great tweet or a cryptic status update.

Additionally, I began to feel a low-level of stress (the kind with physical symptoms) that I believe was a result of being constantly "in touch." There were always badges telling me I had messages or that someone had posted on my wall or that someone else wanted to follow me on Twitter. Even when I didn't want to check my iphone I felt compelled to. Compelled. Isn't that a characteristic of addiction?

So, I've backed off. I leave my iphone in my purse. On the weekends I turn off alerts and avoid my laptop. At first, it was hard, and it embarasses me to say that. But now, it's much easier. I forget about being connected for hours at a time. I feel better both physically and mentally, and I get a lot more done.

I haven't decided yet how dis-connected I want to be, ultimately. I have a community of online friends that I enjoy, but I also have a life that I want to live authentically and with purpose. I'm in the process of figuring it all out. Comments and suggestions would be most welcome.

Self Portrait

And I'm not joking.

Move It!

They say confession is good for the soul, so here I go. I'm not a very patient person. I'm better than I used to be, but I'm not sure that's saying a lot. Also, I feel like I never have enough time to do all I need to do plus all I want to do. So, I'm usually concerned with doing what I need to do in a timely manner (read: I rush around madly) so I can get on with what I would rather be doing.

Well . . .

Yesterday afternoon, as soon as my last class was over, I headed to Walmart. Now, I didn't really want to go there, but I didn't want to give up any of my precious Saturday or Sunday buying groceries either, so I went.

I started out at a nice pace, quickly grabbing what I needed and tossing it into the buggy, but my efficiency didn't last very long. Somehow, no matter where I turned, there were two little old ladies on motorized carts in my way. They would park side by side in the aisle and talk. Or drive side by side. Or I'd go down an aisle that was partially blocked by a stocker and they'd be lined up and parked on the other side, blocking the whole thing. Several times I changed my game plan to get out from behind them, but it made no difference. Everywhere I turned, there they were. I made it to the produce section, and they'd beat me there, somehow, and pulled up to things in such a way that I couldn't even get around them. I felt rude just standing there, waiting, waiting, waiting . . . but I didn't know what else to do. At least I didn't sigh loudly and tap my foot.

I bet my blood pressure was through the roof.

I don't think I'm gonna be a very good little old lady.

Yoga Continued

The second tip my friend gave me is that consistency is key. You'll get better results from ten minutes of yoga every day than from a two-hour session once a week.

That's a very freeing piece of information because, although I enjoy practicing yoga and don't mind doing an hour-long workout, somedays I just don't have a whole hour to spare.

So, since talking to her I've practiced at least six days a week--some days twenty minutes, some days forty-five, some days an hour. It just depends on how I feel and how much time I have. But even the short workouts relax me and make me feel better--mentally and physically. Plus, no matter how long my daily yoga workout is, I have the mental benefit of the daily discipline.

Yoga Resumed

During the year that I lived in Oxford, I began taking yoga classes. I'd read/study/write all day, and then take a yoga class two or three times a week, before my evening classes at Ole Miss began. I loved it. First of all, it got out all the stiffness and kinks I'd acquired from a day of study, which was nice. But it also really got rid of stress. For an hour, I didn't think about anything that I needed to do, had to do, should do, ought to do . . you know the drill. And I was getting stronger (which surprised me, because I already ran/power walked and lifted weights, but yoga was really making a difference in my body--both the way it felt and the way it looked), and I was much more limber.

Well, the classes ended and I moved back home and spent a year studying for comps and writing my dissertation. In other words, I spent a year sitting on my butt. I kept up my morning exercise routine but not the late afternoon yoga. And I missed it.

Last semester, I tried taking some classes here in town, but the times were inconvenient and the classes just didn't measure up to those I'd taken before. I always left disappointed. So, I finally contacted a friend at Ole Miss who teaches yoga and asked for suggestions.

Her first suggestion was to create a personal space for practice. It didn't have to be huge or fancy, just private, spacious, comfortable, and readily available. This seems like such a simple suggestion, but I can't say enough how helpful it was. I often thought about doing yoga at home, but I rarely did because I didn't really have a convenient spot and didn't feel like bothering to clear away one.

We have an extra bedroom that had become a sort of leaving-grounds for things the kids brought into the house on their temporary stays but didn't bother to take with them to their new homes. So, I devoted an hour or so one morning to cleaning out that bedroom. I threw away things, hauled away things, and stored things until the room was bare of everything but basic furniture. This left a wide bare spot in the middle of the carpeted room for my sticky mat. I placed a small table against the wall to hold a candle, and underneath it I placed my yoga videos and straps. I also arranged a convenient spot to place my laptop to play soft music or a video.

I've been amazed at what a difference this makes. I've practiced almost every day since I've set up my yoga space. Now, all I have to do is walk upstairs and I'm ready to practice.

More about yoga tomorrow.

Somebody Stop Me

I haven't been perfect in my quest for simplification so far, but I feel like I'm making steady progress--except in one area: Single-tasking instead of multi-tasking.

I decided to try to do only one thing at a time--no working while eating lunch, no checking email while working on a project, no sorting papers while talking on the phone. But IT'S SO HARD!! Not because I love multi-tasking so much--I don't!-- but because I'm always struggling so hard to get it all done.

Last August, a dear friend (some of you know who I'm talking about) invited me to a Saturday for the Soul that she was leading on the topic of Time. And it was wonderful--just what I needed to hear. But mentally assenting to what she said is one thing; putting her wisdom and insights into practice is quite another.

One thing that has really surprised me as I've tried to stop multi-tasking is how painful it is. It's as if I can't allow myself the luxury of doing only one thing. Somehow I feel compelled--and I mean that word in its most extreme sense--to do more.

I'm not giving up, but I am taking suggestions.

Back to the List

At the beginning of my Simplifying and Decluttering quest, I told you that I planned to pick a few items from the list I posted and work on them for a while. Then, once they'd become somewhat-routine, I'd pick one or two more to begin practicing. Here's my next one:



#47 Single-task. Multi-tasking is more complicated, more stressful, and generally less productive. Instead, do one task at a time.


I SO needed to implement this suggestion, in so many areas. One of the neat things about writing my dissertation was the intense concentration I could achieve when I sequestered myself upstairs with only one task to do and with all distractions minimized. That's how I got my dissertation written and defended in a six-month period. But now, trying to work on something with my BlackBerry blinking right beside me and TweetDeck chirping on my computer and people sticking their heads in to say hello really slows down my productivity.

Additionally, since I've felt so snowed under (pun intended) this year, I wouldn't even let myself eat lunch without also grading, or checking email, or reading over my lesson plans for the next class. The result? Not much work got done, and I didn't taste a bite of my lunch. And although my intention in working through lunch was to get more done so I wouldn't feel as stressed, combining the two actually had the opposite effect. I felt more stressed, AND I wanted to eat more because I never even let myself enjoy my food. Really? It's all gone already?

So, what am I doing now? I work on one task at a time, and I turn off all electronic notifiers and put my phone out of sight. I close my door unless it's during posted office hours. I have a checklist, and I work through it methodically. As expected, I'm getting much more work done!

And as for lunch? I shut the door, spread out my food on my desk, turn away from the computer and the BlackBerry, and simply eat. I'm trying to slow down and actually taste my food,which is more enjoyable on some days than others, depending on what I've brought for lunch, but is always less stressful, no matter what I'm eating.

It's Better Than It Could Have Been

I've been thinking that yesterday's post didn't quite fit with my Simplifying and Destressing theme, but then I realized that without my simplifying and destressing efforts, my stress level right now would be even higher than it is. My decluttering and simplifying efforts at home are really going well. I have such positive feelings about my progress in that area. Because of some of the new habits I'm cultivating, my house is staying cleaner and clutter free, so although I may be stressing about work-related things, my home is not adding to the problem and it's a haven at the end of the day instead of one more thing to stress about.

And even though I'm not progressing as swiftly on the Simplifying and Destressing at the office as I am at home, a few things I'm doing there are at least keeping me sane in the middle of all the grading and prep. I've already told you about never leaving the office without a clear desk, and I would never have believed just how effective a strategy this is. I feel a sense of order when I walk out the door in the evening, and when I walk in the next morning things seem to be a little more under my control.

Another thing I've been doing is keeping a "Most Important Things" list. Before I leave for the day, on the top sheet of my notepad I list the things that absolutely, positively must be done tomorrow. These usually have to do with the following day's classes, but not always. On another sheet, I keep a running list of things that need to be done, but not immediately. When I get to work, I immediately start in on my must-do list, doing nothing else (but teaching classes) until those are accomplished. Then, I know I'm at least ready for the next day. If there's extra time, I move on to an item on the not-so-urgent list. These lists don't lessen my load or get my work done for me, but they do remove the fear of realizing at the last minute that I'm unprepared or have forgotten something important.

Additionally, I keep reminding myself that the extra work I'm putting into Comp I now will pay off in less stress in the future. A stitch in time . . .

Semester Stress

There is a time, every semester, when I feel in control. Prepared. On top of things.

That lasts about two weeks. Then I start having essays to grade, and real life hits me between the eyes. I think it's because I'm trying to do so much this semester. I have two new classes, which, of course, require constant preparation. Also, I'll be teaching a Women's Lit class this fall, so I'm doing some reading in preparation and trying to decide on which novels to teach. But I'm also re-working my Comp I classes. I've taught this course every semester since I've been at HU, and every semester I've done something different--used a new textbook or redesigned the course schedule.

So, this semester, I said "Enough." I've adopted a book I really like, and I'm sticking with it. I'm also carefully structuring the course, devising a generic syllabus that will let me make minor adjustments in what I do without changing the basic syllabus (so I can reuse it every semester), making detailed lesson plans, and compiling a course notebook. I'm tired of reinventing the wheel. All the work that I put in this semester is going to save me tons of time in the future. But the future's not here yet, and this semester's really getting to me.

Is it spring break yet?

Following Through

Back to my simplification quest.

One of the strategies to make my house cleaner and more clutter-free and to lower my stress level that I've been trying lately is something I read about that's called Following Through. Much of the disorganization and messiness of our homes and offices comes from our failure to follow through or complete the cycle of our actions.

Now we've all been taught this concept. Whose Mom hasn't said "If you get it out, put it up!" or "If you open it, close it!" And on major things, I did this already. I cleaned the kitchen right after we finished a meal. As soon as I undressed, I put my clothes into the hamper.

But the small things were getting me. I'd kick off a pair of shoes, and there they'd stay--maybe even to be joined by another pair the next day. The mail, as we've already talked about, I dumped on the kitchen island. I'd read the newspaper, and the sections would end up in a pile on the floor next to my chair. I'd do a load of laundry and ignore that annoying buzzer telling me to fold and sort--sometimes even for a day or two. I'd walk in the door in the winter time, and often my coat and purse would land on the nearest flat surface. Before long, no matter how "clean" my house might be, it sure would be cluttered. And it would make me feel terrible. Plus, after a week of this, it would take a devoted amount of time and concerted effort to set things to rights. And, since my behavior didn't change, my house would immediately begin reverting back to its natural state.

Now, I'm trying to complete my actions, to follow through. When I take off my shoes, I pick them up and put them in my closet--right then. As soon as we finish reading the paper, it goes in the trash, not in a pile on the floor. My husband installed a nice big coathook on the back of a closet door for me, and when I come home, I hang my coat and purse there immediately. When the buzzer goes off, I fold and put the laundry away--no procrastination allowed. You get the picture. Each thing only takes a few seconds, and my house stays picked up (and my clothes aren't wrinkled). I explained my mail system earlier, and it's a pattern now that I follow through every day. It's actually starting to feel normal to me, no effort required.

I'm getting better at all my followings-through, and I hope they soon become as natural-feeling as my mail system. I have high hopes.

Christmas Stress

Christmas shopping. Check.

Groceries and Cooking. Doing that today. Almost check.

Bookkeeping. Nope.

Syllabi for Spring semester. Nope.

Relaxing? I'm still waiting on that part.

It's That Time of Year

No, I'm not talking about Christmas. I'm talking about the end of the semester. Papers to grade. Tests to make out. Grades to record. Curriculum mapping to do (I SO love assessment--irony alert). And prepping and teaching don't stop for these fun activities.

I've got Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" playing in the background, and I'm repeating The Little Engine That Could's motto. Two weeks to go. Yeah. Piece of cake.

Thoreau Wannabe

Mondays are stressful days for me. All my classes this semester are on M/W/F, and on Monday afternoons, after I've taught all my classes, I also meet with a graduate student who's doing an Independent study with me (in Women's Lit & feminist literary theory, which I'm so excited about and enjoying thoroughly). Then, after we finish discussing the novel or essays of the week and she leaves for her next class, I have office hours until five, which I try to use as productively as possible.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. It's just that by the end of the day, Mondays especially, I'm usually so wound up that it's hard to turn myself off. My mind just can't stop feeling like there's something I should be doing. It keeps running in circles.

So, last Monday I had an idea. After I got home, I put on my walking shoes and decided to go for a nice walk before I started supper, or washed a load of clothes, or did anything else that resembled more work. I resisted walking down the road in front of our house because that's where I run most every morning, and I didn't want this to feel like exercise. I wanted it to be relaxing.

"I've got it!" I thought. Our house is surrounded by pasture, and behind the pasture are some woods. We had them logged a couple of years ago, and my husband has been slowly clearing trails through the woods, beautiful winding paths that look like tunnels through the trees, decorated with fallen logs, misshapen mushrooms, mossy stumps. "That's it! Exactly what I need," I decided.

So I spent a little time walking through the fallen leaves, listening to the wind blowing through the tree tops, not worrying about time, or pace, or aerobic intensity. I watched the squirrels scamper, saw a rabbit or two, kept my eyes open for deer, although I didn't see any. I was just winding down, living in the moment. Practicing intentionality, I thought.

Only I didn't intend to get poison ivy on my left ankle and chigger bites in various places on my lower extremities. I mean, I had on long pants, thick cotton socks, and sturdy walking shoes.

I guess relaxing walks in the woods will have to wait until after the first frost. Any "unwinding" suggestions til then?