Borrowed Ideas

Here's a post I ran across on the Becoming Minimalist blog. It's a read that's worth your time.

Contentment. People look for it in all sorts of places. Some look for contentment in a high-paying job, yet show their discontent the first time they are passed over for a raise. Some look for it in a large home, yet show their discontent by requiring countless improvements. Many have sought contentment in a department store believing that one more item will finally match their desire, yet they are always disappointed… despite the promises made on television.

Could it be that we have been taught to look for contentment in all the wrong places?

What if contentment is actually found in the exact opposite place that we have looking? What if contentment is not found in accumulating more, but is actually found in giving more?

We can easily understand how contentment leads to generosity – the less we need, the more we can give away. But could it be that the inverse is also true? That generosity also leads to contentment? That the two collide together in a way that encourages each other to exist all the more?

Consider for just a moment how generosity leads to contentment:

Generous people have a healthy understanding of how much they already own. People who give to those in need quickly realize how much they have to give.
Generous people value what they own. People who give away possessions hold their remaining possessions in higher esteem. People who give their time make better use of their time remaining. And people who donate money are far less wasteful with the money left over.
Generous people live happier, more fulfilled lives. Studies have shown that generous people are generally happier, healthier, and more satisfied with life. And once they find this satisfaction through generosity, they are less inclined to search for it elsewhere.
Generous people find meaning outside of their possessions. It is the American way to wrap up self-worth in net-worth… as if a person’s true value could ever be tallied on a balance sheet. Generous people find their value in helping others and quickly realize that their bank statement says nothing about their true value.
Generous people have more fulfilling relationships. People always enjoy the company of a generous giver to the company of a selfish hoarder. People are naturally attracted towards others who have an open heart to share with others. And a good friend is the best gift you could ever give yourself.
Generous people have less desire for more. They have found fulfillment, meaning, value, and relationships outside of the acquisition of possessions. They have learned to find joy in what they already possess and give away the rest. In other words, they have found true contentment. This contentment naturally leads to even more generosity which leads to even greater contentment which leads to…

Are you searching for contentment in life? If so, try giving something away today. And open up the door for contentment and generosity to collide.

Back to the List

At the beginning of my Simplifying and Decluttering quest, I told you that I planned to pick a few items from the list I posted and work on them for a while. Then, once they'd become somewhat-routine, I'd pick one or two more to begin practicing. Here's my next one:



#47 Single-task. Multi-tasking is more complicated, more stressful, and generally less productive. Instead, do one task at a time.


I SO needed to implement this suggestion, in so many areas. One of the neat things about writing my dissertation was the intense concentration I could achieve when I sequestered myself upstairs with only one task to do and with all distractions minimized. That's how I got my dissertation written and defended in a six-month period. But now, trying to work on something with my BlackBerry blinking right beside me and TweetDeck chirping on my computer and people sticking their heads in to say hello really slows down my productivity.

Additionally, since I've felt so snowed under (pun intended) this year, I wouldn't even let myself eat lunch without also grading, or checking email, or reading over my lesson plans for the next class. The result? Not much work got done, and I didn't taste a bite of my lunch. And although my intention in working through lunch was to get more done so I wouldn't feel as stressed, combining the two actually had the opposite effect. I felt more stressed, AND I wanted to eat more because I never even let myself enjoy my food. Really? It's all gone already?

So, what am I doing now? I work on one task at a time, and I turn off all electronic notifiers and put my phone out of sight. I close my door unless it's during posted office hours. I have a checklist, and I work through it methodically. As expected, I'm getting much more work done!

And as for lunch? I shut the door, spread out my food on my desk, turn away from the computer and the BlackBerry, and simply eat. I'm trying to slow down and actually taste my food,which is more enjoyable on some days than others, depending on what I've brought for lunch, but is always less stressful, no matter what I'm eating.

It's Better Than It Could Have Been

I've been thinking that yesterday's post didn't quite fit with my Simplifying and Destressing theme, but then I realized that without my simplifying and destressing efforts, my stress level right now would be even higher than it is. My decluttering and simplifying efforts at home are really going well. I have such positive feelings about my progress in that area. Because of some of the new habits I'm cultivating, my house is staying cleaner and clutter free, so although I may be stressing about work-related things, my home is not adding to the problem and it's a haven at the end of the day instead of one more thing to stress about.

And even though I'm not progressing as swiftly on the Simplifying and Destressing at the office as I am at home, a few things I'm doing there are at least keeping me sane in the middle of all the grading and prep. I've already told you about never leaving the office without a clear desk, and I would never have believed just how effective a strategy this is. I feel a sense of order when I walk out the door in the evening, and when I walk in the next morning things seem to be a little more under my control.

Another thing I've been doing is keeping a "Most Important Things" list. Before I leave for the day, on the top sheet of my notepad I list the things that absolutely, positively must be done tomorrow. These usually have to do with the following day's classes, but not always. On another sheet, I keep a running list of things that need to be done, but not immediately. When I get to work, I immediately start in on my must-do list, doing nothing else (but teaching classes) until those are accomplished. Then, I know I'm at least ready for the next day. If there's extra time, I move on to an item on the not-so-urgent list. These lists don't lessen my load or get my work done for me, but they do remove the fear of realizing at the last minute that I'm unprepared or have forgotten something important.

Additionally, I keep reminding myself that the extra work I'm putting into Comp I now will pay off in less stress in the future. A stitch in time . . .

Following Through

Back to my simplification quest.

One of the strategies to make my house cleaner and more clutter-free and to lower my stress level that I've been trying lately is something I read about that's called Following Through. Much of the disorganization and messiness of our homes and offices comes from our failure to follow through or complete the cycle of our actions.

Now we've all been taught this concept. Whose Mom hasn't said "If you get it out, put it up!" or "If you open it, close it!" And on major things, I did this already. I cleaned the kitchen right after we finished a meal. As soon as I undressed, I put my clothes into the hamper.

But the small things were getting me. I'd kick off a pair of shoes, and there they'd stay--maybe even to be joined by another pair the next day. The mail, as we've already talked about, I dumped on the kitchen island. I'd read the newspaper, and the sections would end up in a pile on the floor next to my chair. I'd do a load of laundry and ignore that annoying buzzer telling me to fold and sort--sometimes even for a day or two. I'd walk in the door in the winter time, and often my coat and purse would land on the nearest flat surface. Before long, no matter how "clean" my house might be, it sure would be cluttered. And it would make me feel terrible. Plus, after a week of this, it would take a devoted amount of time and concerted effort to set things to rights. And, since my behavior didn't change, my house would immediately begin reverting back to its natural state.

Now, I'm trying to complete my actions, to follow through. When I take off my shoes, I pick them up and put them in my closet--right then. As soon as we finish reading the paper, it goes in the trash, not in a pile on the floor. My husband installed a nice big coathook on the back of a closet door for me, and when I come home, I hang my coat and purse there immediately. When the buzzer goes off, I fold and put the laundry away--no procrastination allowed. You get the picture. Each thing only takes a few seconds, and my house stays picked up (and my clothes aren't wrinkled). I explained my mail system earlier, and it's a pattern now that I follow through every day. It's actually starting to feel normal to me, no effort required.

I'm getting better at all my followings-through, and I hope they soon become as natural-feeling as my mail system. I have high hopes.

Mental Clutter

As you can tell if you've been reading my blog lately, I've begun a quest to simplify my life, and things are going well. I'm gradually implementing routines and pracitices that are really working.

A lot of my focus so far has been on decluttering--getting rid of things that clutter up my house and office, and, therefore, my life. But yesterday's post about attitudes started me thinking about all the mental clutter in my life. Now, some of my mental clutter is being cleared up by a few of my new practices and routines (which I'll post about later). For instance, making lists takes things off my mind and puts them on paper. But the kind of clutter I'm talking about now is the mental clutter caused by improper attitudes towards myself.

As I wrote earlier, I'm a perfectionist. So, for some weird reason, there are all these impossibly high standards and goals floating around in my brain that really don't apply to me or make no logical sense whatsoever, but I still hold on to them, thinking I need to do more, be more, try harder, change this, change that, and finally, and only then, will I be acceptable and have a wonderful life.

You know what? That's just crazy. And it adds unnecessary stress to my life. Now, I'm not talking about having reasonable goals or expecting to work hard and do my best. This is not a way to excuse myself from what needs to be done or ought to be done. It's the realization that who and what I am is okay and that I'm already living a wonderful life. For example, I'm never going to be an Olympic athlete or the women's front runner in the Boston Marathon. So, as long as I'm doing enough exercise to keep me fit and healthy, I shouldn't feel guilty that I'm not faster or stronger or that I don't work out for hours on end. Enough is enough. I'm never going to be one of those professors who's read everything written since the dawn of time, can quote almost every poem in both the British and American canons, and knows the definition to every literary term without even peeking at a dictionary. But I'm prepared for my classes, I'm a life-long learner, always reading and growing, and I have a life outside my job. That's enough. I don't need to look like someone else, or sound like someone else, or act like someone else, or dress like someone else to be happy and content.

Think about how much less stress we'd have if we'd just accept ourselves for who we actually are and appreciate the blessings in our own lives.

This might be the most succesful simplification strategy I've tried so far. I feel a post about authenticity coming up, but I've got to think about it a while.

Prerequisites

A couple of items on the list really jumped out at me--#26 Create a simple mail and paperwork system and #30 Keep your email inbox empty, for instance--but it made no sense to attempt to alter my patterns without recognizing and dealing with some prerequisites. It doesn't matter how I handle incoming mail if my office looks like a tornado just passed through, or you can't see the color of my desk because papers cover the top of it.

So, I put those two off until I'd done the basics. I told you yesterday about cleaning and organizing our home office. I also started the process at work. The first thing I did was to follow #28 Clear your desk. I began by completely cleaning off the top of my desk. Now, it holds only my lamp, a couple of framed pictures, a blotter, a pencil holder, a coaster for my coffee cup or water bottle, a business-card holder, and an inbox. It looks so much better now. There's plenty of space for working--a vast, peaceful expanse--and my inbox contains only items that I will handle within the next day or two. Everything else was filed, recorded, or thrown away. The drawers aren't too bad, but I'm taking it slowly and organizing one drawer a day. Another new rule: I do not leave work for the day without my desktop being clear. It forces me to handle things immediately, and it feels wonderful to walk in my office the next morning and see that clean desk. Such a simple rule, but so effective. Seeing all that clutter as I entered my office every day used to raise my stress level before work even began. Now, I see the desk and actually feel calmer.

My mail/paperwork/email systems? Tomorrow.

Stressing over Simplifying

In three installments last week, I published a list of 72 ways to simplify your life that I found at zenhabits.net. I think it's a really great list. As soon as I found it, I knew it would help me on my quest to declutter and simplify. The problem, as is always true for me, is my perfectionist personality.

You see, perfectionists are not perfect. They just feel strongly that they should be, and that's the problem. Being one, I feel as if I should do all things perfectly, and preferably yesterday, which of course is a huge reason that I've had trouble simplifying. Simplifying your life is a huge, overwhelming task, and since I couldn't do it all right away (and perfectly), in the past I didn't do any of it. I just worried over it and stressed about it.

But this time, I'm doing it differently. I decided to choose a few items from the list, implement them, and when I've accomplished those or feel comfortable with a new habit, I'll choose one or two more and move forward.

So far, so good.

The first item on the list instructs you to make a list of your top 4-5 important things. By realizing what you value most, you'll be able to prioritize your decluttering and simplifying accordingly. So, here's mine:

1. Spending time with my husband, family, and friends.
2. Having time for non-work-related reading.
3. Living and working in a peaceful and orderly environment.
4. Being well-prepared to do my job.
5. Exercising and eating healthfully.
6. Having some time for myself every day. (No, this is not a duplication of my pleasure reading priority. More on this later.)

OK. I cheated. But that's my top six.

Come back tomorrow for the next step in my quest for simplification.