Following Through

Back to my simplification quest.

One of the strategies to make my house cleaner and more clutter-free and to lower my stress level that I've been trying lately is something I read about that's called Following Through. Much of the disorganization and messiness of our homes and offices comes from our failure to follow through or complete the cycle of our actions.

Now we've all been taught this concept. Whose Mom hasn't said "If you get it out, put it up!" or "If you open it, close it!" And on major things, I did this already. I cleaned the kitchen right after we finished a meal. As soon as I undressed, I put my clothes into the hamper.

But the small things were getting me. I'd kick off a pair of shoes, and there they'd stay--maybe even to be joined by another pair the next day. The mail, as we've already talked about, I dumped on the kitchen island. I'd read the newspaper, and the sections would end up in a pile on the floor next to my chair. I'd do a load of laundry and ignore that annoying buzzer telling me to fold and sort--sometimes even for a day or two. I'd walk in the door in the winter time, and often my coat and purse would land on the nearest flat surface. Before long, no matter how "clean" my house might be, it sure would be cluttered. And it would make me feel terrible. Plus, after a week of this, it would take a devoted amount of time and concerted effort to set things to rights. And, since my behavior didn't change, my house would immediately begin reverting back to its natural state.

Now, I'm trying to complete my actions, to follow through. When I take off my shoes, I pick them up and put them in my closet--right then. As soon as we finish reading the paper, it goes in the trash, not in a pile on the floor. My husband installed a nice big coathook on the back of a closet door for me, and when I come home, I hang my coat and purse there immediately. When the buzzer goes off, I fold and put the laundry away--no procrastination allowed. You get the picture. Each thing only takes a few seconds, and my house stays picked up (and my clothes aren't wrinkled). I explained my mail system earlier, and it's a pattern now that I follow through every day. It's actually starting to feel normal to me, no effort required.

I'm getting better at all my followings-through, and I hope they soon become as natural-feeling as my mail system. I have high hopes.

Attitude Adjustment

I read in an article somewhere, maybe by Martha Beck in O Magazine (but I'm not sure), that there are two types of mentalities--an Abundance Mentality and a Scarcity Mentality. People with an Abundance Mentality trust that they will have enough or be able to easily obtain the things that they need when they need them. Those with a mentality of Scarcity feel like there's never enough. They don't have enough. They've never had enough. And they probably won't have enough in the future. And not only do they feel lacking, they also feel that there is a limited supply of everything, and what one person has diminishes what another can hope to have, so of course they need to make sure to grasp for things and hoard their "fair share."

I guess you can see how these two mentalities would play out in regards to clutter. The Abundance person would stock reasonable amounts of food, have reasonable amounts of clothes, a reasonable number of things, and be less stressed overall. The Scarcity person would have more than they could ever eat, wear, or use; cabinets, closets, and storage units stuffed to overflowing; and constant stress.

OK. So I don't stockpile cool whip bowls or twist ties or bread wrappers, and I don't have 52 cans of green beans in my pantry. I don't rent a storage unit, and my closets and drawers do close. But in some areas, I do have a little more than I need. And although I can easily let go of some extra things, I have trouble with others. I think I have a Mixed Mentality--in some areas I trust that there'll be abundance; in others I feel like it's every woman for her self. Thinking about this makes me feel a little ashamed and confused. All my life I've been well taken care of; I've been blessed. I don't want to be a person who holds onto things I don't need when they could be of use to others. I want my hands to be open, not clenched or grasping.

One of the things I've been doing has helped me with this, I think. It's my one-thing-a-day decluttering. I have a box or bag in my closet, and one item a day goes in it until it's full. Then it goes to charity. Some items are easy to drop in. Others are much harder. There's this internal monologue: I just know I'll wear this one day. I may need it. I paid a lot of money for it. But it was a gift from _______. Yada yada yada.

The reason the one-thing-a-day plan is working for me is that it doesn't require me to get rid of half my wardrobe in one fell swoop. I only have to decide on one item a day. It can even be the pair of shoes that always rubs a blister. Or the purse I never carry. And, too, I'm not giving the item away today. I'm just dropping it into a box. Where it will remain. For several days. I can take it out if I decide I can't live without it. And guess what? I haven't yet taken anything out of the box, and putting things in is getting a lot easier.

And it feels really good.